We ALL Do It
Everyone Poops
It’s true. They’ve even written a book about it. Everyone (well, nearly everyone) does it. Even cute little bunnies and earthworms. It happens, and it falls under the heading of “better out than in”.
Yes, sometimes it’s smelly. But trust me. It’s like that for everyone who poos. Occasionally it will be smelly. It happens and you’re just going to have to learn to live with that fact.
Okay, sure, maybe a little spritz of an air freshener when you’re done is a nice little courtesy. A small way of saying “oh, the hazards of being a being that poos”. Wait? What did I just say? Repeat this with me boys and girls: a little spritz.
A little spritz is not
- five little spritzes
- one spritz that lasts for 30 seconds
- one spritz that lasts for 30 seconds, followed by a two second pause, and then another 30 second blast
Ten seconds. Ten is the maximum. Push the button and immediately stop pushing it. That’s all you need to do. Especially when you’re sitting in the stall at the time. How could you breathe? What about all that air freshener fallout on you? I don’t know who you were, but I bet I could find you based on the smell.
“What a lovely scent you’re wearing. Is that… *sniffing* Is that pine I detect”?
Honestly, it cannot be healthful to be breathing it in. There are warnings about huffing it right on the can. You’re not spraying it into a paper bag and then breathing it in, but you might as well be, considering I was two stalls down and it was making my eyes sting.
It’s so ineffective, anyhow. You just end up with a restroom that smells like poo and potpourri.
Tune in next week for “You Inconsiderate People On The Bus Who Wear Too Much Perfume”.
Tags: I'm Going To Hell, Life
September 22nd, 2006 at 6:06 pm
When given a choice, I’d opt for a loo than smells like poo rather than poo and roses. We “voluntarily” [hah!] chip in to buy air freshener and hand soap to upgrade our gov’t-issue Ladies’. The gal who kindly takes on that duty means well, but she buys refills of soap and lotion and freshener in all kinds of scents, so we get a lovely blend of melon, mountain spring and pumpkin pie overlaid with Clorox. and poo.
October 2nd, 2006 at 6:21 pm
Amen to that! Sometimes I will just back out of the restroom. Besides for the 1:30 poo-er who, IMHO, needs to see a frigging doctor, sometimes I just can not handle the scent of Lysol and Poo.