The Ninth Strange Day

In the United Kingdom there is a television show called Doctor Who. It was not all that long ago this show returned to the UK with a man named Christopher Eccleston in the role of The Doctor. Briefly, one of his companions was a Captain Jack Harkness.

Captain Jack Harkness now has his own show. It’s called Torchwood and it is not on in the US. But resourceful bunny that I am I have seen the first two episodes.

People… this show is the best thing ever. It is better than The X-Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Doctor Who, and House MD all rolled into one. It is made of the awesome.

Source, courtesy Bibliotech.

This guy says it’s impossible for there to be vampires based on this bit of math:

On Jan 1, 1600, the human population was 536,870,911. If the first vampire came into existence that day and bit one person a month, there would have been two vampires by Feb. 1, 1600. A month later there would have been four, and so on. In just two-and-a-half years the original human population would all have become vampires with nobody left to feed on.

If mortality rates were taken into consideration, the population would disappear much faster. Even an unrealistically high reproduction rate couldn’t counteract this effect.

Flaws:

• It assumes that a vampire would only be able to feed on human blood.

• It assumes that a feeding would result in the death (and turning) of the source.
• Even assuming a vampire would be so reckless as to create one vampire a month, would that vampire tolerate its changelings creating their own?
• Would a vampire actually be unaware of the fact that too many vampires would eventually create a deficit situation in the food supply? Most animals know to control their reproduction if there’s not enough food to meet the demand. Vampires should also be able to figure this out.

Watch your necks.

In my mind, I translate this into “Layered tees”

Which instantly makes me think of Hamlet.

And in less than half a second I find myself wondering why I’m thinking about Hamlet, and I have to backtrack through my thought process and figure out what triggered it. It didn’t help that that text is part of an animated advert, so it had already moved on to the next frame by the time I caught up with myself.

I don’t like kids.

At all.

It’s not just a phase I’m going through or anything, and it’s not like I haven’t been exposed to kids, and yes there are some spawn that I can tolerate, but it’s usually not until they’re old enough to be interesting, and not old enough to be teenagers, pre-teens… in grade school.

Anyhow… just because I don’t want any in my house doesn’t mean I hate all of them and wish them harm. Which brings me to my point.

I was on the bus and a couple got on with their son who was maybe about two-ish. Maybe younger? He was standing upright most of the time and he was loud, but he was pretty non-verbal. His parents were both … let’s just say, I’m pretty sure they were high on heroin. They were both doing the junkie droop, where they seem to defy gravity, just getting lower and lower until something fires in their brain and they jerk back up again. Meanwhile, Junior was standing on a chair, yelling, jumping, wiggling, flailing… he wasn’t upset or anything. Just bored, needing attention, and loud.

Creeped me out, man. That kid hasn’t got a chance in the world.

So what do I do? Other than feel disgusted, I mean.

Guy: Hey, what’s that name of that one guy you hang out with? The one that might be gay.

Girl: What? Gay Alan?

NaNoWriMo starts on the first of November. That’s very close, kids. Very close indeed. And am I ready for it?

Course not!

So tell me… I have 50,000 in which to tell a story. What should it be about?