28
10
2006
The Mathematical Improbability of Vampires
Posted by: The Ninth in Uncategorized, tags: JackasserySource, courtesy Bibliotech.
This guy says it’s impossible for there to be vampires based on this bit of math:
On Jan 1, 1600, the human population was 536,870,911. If the first vampire came into existence that day and bit one person a month, there would have been two vampires by Feb. 1, 1600. A month later there would have been four, and so on. In just two-and-a-half years the original human population would all have become vampires with nobody left to feed on.If mortality rates were taken into consideration, the population would disappear much faster. Even an unrealistically high reproduction rate couldn’t counteract this effect.
Flaws:
- It assumes that a vampire would only be able to feed on human blood.
- It assumes that a feeding would result in the death (and turning) of the source.
- Even assuming a vampire would be so reckless as to create one vampire a month, would that vampire tolerate its changelings creating their own?
- Would a vampire actually be unaware of the fact that too many vampires would eventually create a deficit situation in the food supply? Most animals know to control their reproduction if there’s not enough food to meet the demand. Vampires should also be able to figure this out.
Watch your necks.
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Vampires are Cool. Vampires know they are Cool. Cool people do not tend to want more people to be just like them, because then they wouldn’t be Cool - they’d be commonplace. Ergo Vampires would never create too many other vamps and dilute the Cool Factor. Q.E.D.