The Ninth Strange Day

I think we knew this would happen.

June 13, 2007

Source.

All the jokes that I make about zombies. All the shuffling around and making weird, guttural noises. All the jokes about consuming so much vitamin C I could defend myself against any zombie-making virus.

It’s here. It’s now. It’s out in the courtyard of the building I work in.

Zombies.

I suppose it started on the train this morning, though to be fair, it’s often hard to tell zombies from early-morning commuters. It’s possible that the strange smells and dull, dead eyes were actually zombies, but me without my coffee? I blended right in.

Perhaps that’s what kept me safe.

I don’t go outside much once I’m at work, and I don’t sit near a window, so it was kind of surprising when one of my coworkers called me over to her cube. She was staring out the window, down into the courtyard.

“What are they doing?” she asked. “Some kind of aerobics or something?”

“Probably a ‘team-building’ exercise,” I said as I stepped behind her to look outside. That’s when I realised. That’s when it all started to make sense. The smell from this morning. The blank stares. The slack jaws. The lack of interest in their McBreakfasts.

Zombies. Everywhere.

“Dude. We’re fucked,” I said. She made a quiet phonecall to another coworker who came over to join us.

“I was just looking out into the parking lot,” he said as he stepped into her cube. “Are people getting weirder?”

“Zombies,” I said.

“I’m on it,” he replied.

We tried to make a call to the management office so they could warn the other businesses in these towers, but it was too late. The sticky, smacking, chewing sound on the other end of the line told us everything. Zombies were running the building. Zombies were on the other floors already, and in the other buildings that surrounded the courtyard. We could see them beating against the glass.

Fortunately there aren’t many people in this particular office. It’s easier to keep track of everyone and we’ll know quickly if anyone’s been infected. We’ve barricaded the doors, but unfortunately they all open out so if the zombies manage to break the locks the copiers and file cabinets stacked in front of them won’t do much good.

We’ve armed ourselves with anything that might be useful as a weapon. Several people are praying.

Considering how wide-spread this seems to be, I don’t think even prayers can save us.